It's 3AM, I must be lonely...

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24 July

It's 3AM, I must be lonely...

Hello friends. It's me again.

First, let me apologize for my prolonged absence. I've been going through a nasty breakup with my uncle/business partner, and really haven't felt much like writing (or even turning on the computer for that matter). I suppose I knew better than to do business with family, but quite frankly, I felt desperate to do SOMETHING.

As you know, I'm in a wheelchair, and regardless of my abilities, am often turned away from wherever I seek employment. So, when he approached me to be his partner, I was happy to have a job that would afford me the independence and opportunity that I value so dearly. And we were doing pretty damn good, right up until a few weeks ago.

I won't go into the sorrid details of the matter, but I will tell you our seperation had everything to do with business ethics and common sense - two things about which, apparently, he lacks a single ounce of understanding.

So, I got the hell out of the whole deal before I suffered legal consequences for his ignorance and stupidity, but still, it did not happen without a price...

It's been a terrible mess, but I'm slowly regaining my treasured peace of mind. Although, I'm afraid I can't say the same for my once-strong sense of family. I've been bitter and mean, withdrawn and depressed, and worked my way through most of it until I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps my desire to eat hot coals and breath fire, to break bones and spill blood, will be replaced with a new sense of direction and understanding in time. I sure as hell hope and pray it does.

Until then, y'all will just have to forgive my sporadic behavior. It's taking everything I've got right now to stay sane and civil, and the last thing I want to do is go off on somebody because of all the bullshit in my personal life.

Best Wishes to All,

Jesse

AKA: Latrunculus Laceratus (TheOutlawTorn)

3:41 AM | Blog it

Comments (6)

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	♥ Aimee Archerwrote: sorry to hear that...i hope that things get better for you... :o) smiles are free... :o) and contagious... :o) so pass them on... :o) to people you love... :o) and even to those you don't... :o) 1 Aug.
	Herman Bielingwrote: Sorry to hear your going through some trouble...take the time to get things straight, we'll still be argueing when you get back...lol! 30 July
	Laura Smithwrote: I hope things start to look up for you. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 28 July
	Cavemanwrote: Sorry buddy to hear about your situation...I did not know you had a disablity .....I to have one..which is I am deaf..i have help ..(aids)yes ..and jobs are hard for me ,,hence when I find one..I stay for as long as I can ,..its hard to get another one...Stay strong..keep on looking for jobs..I have found that people..see you happy and smiling it takes away your disablility ..always give a smile..and I will pray for you 25 July
	Marianne Constandinouwrote: sorry to hear about ur career failure but u gotta keep positive somethg will show up sooner or later it just takes u to believe in urself and u can do it :) there are so many things u can do if u just believe.. the power of the mind :) dont let one failure in bs or family get u down... shit happens :) doesnt mean the rest of ur family isnt bad :) ive learnt thru my experiences that u just concentrate on the ppl who are worth it and truly care :) never forgetting that these ppl arent perfect... anyway i wish u the best in ur future endeavours :))) take care xxx 24 July
	outtawrote: dear sir, i am juss searching for blogs about lonesome and depressing u're the first site i came upon i have read ur recent entry and i am very sorry about what happened between you and ur uncle. U see i am goin' through some things too. I got married young and did not kno the guy i am married to had anger outbursts make a long story short i am juss taking it day by day and figuring what the heck to do. I hope u will find the light at the end of the tunnel and it's a great thing to write ur feelns out. And it's also a great thing u r being civil and sane. I've seen how insane can be and it ain't fun. (SEeing it from my husband) But i hope u r feelin' better today and hope u r doin' well. Love alwayz, Line Taholo 24 July

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